Start the Journey
The "Phase" pages outline my step by step, but this page gives an overview of my name change experience and where to get started.
I approached my name change journey like a project, and although I didn’t make a project plan or status board, I made sure to collect notes/documentation with the goal to come out with this site. What I found is that like many long-term projects, name change relies very heavily on momentum (especially if you’re like me, where a break in momentum brings with it very tempting amounts of rest and slowing down).
Name change starter pack
So you don't have to compile everything from scratch, I've set up a name change starter pack for you. (Feel free to modify for your needs, of course.) A structured approach doesn't work for everyone, but it might help other people with anxiety.
This page (the one you're on) goes over the starter pack high-level and provides a checklist, but for more detail use the navigation links to review each phase.
- Start with Phase I, then go to Phase II. Plan to dedicate the next 3-4 months of your life changing all the things in Phase I and Phase II. Some things you won’t be able to update until something else is updated, and there will be a 4-8 week processing time, so you’ll have to wait until you get it before you can do the next step.
- While waiting for Phase I & II items to process, address items from Phase III. In the waiting or downtime, change what you can from Phase III (some items don’t require legal forms, like your email address and online profiles).
Keep in mind that the steps and forms are extremely scenario-specific. I don’t have a spouse or kids for example, so I didn’t have to include any name change activities that apply to those scenarios. There are individual scenarios for the process you take for each item, but also sometimes within the form that you fill out. Because of that, I don't tell you how to fill out the forms. You can’t follow my steps if our scenarios don’t match so where I could, I’ve added links to resources where you can read up on other potential scenarios.
I mentioned on the home page but it's important to know going in that some places do not know how to process first or middle name changes yet. You might be the first person to ever ask for that, but all their processes rely on a last name change. Although it's incredibly annoying, you are a pioneer among many others, enforcing change in naming expectations. Unfortunately, that means you'll hit unexpected roadblocks and some things will take a frustrating amount of time to process. Give some grace to the people supporting you with this change as they might be learning a brand new process to update your name somewhere.
On another note, I used LegalZoom to find the correct court order (and help with a lot of the other forms). I don’t know if I recommend using one of these services necessarily - you could also just make a phone call. If you go this route, be mindful of the package you buy, don’t pay for everything if you don’t have to. Otherwise you’ll have them provide every form, but then later in the process you find out you can submit a lot of stuff digitally. If you’re super worried you’ll fill out the forms wrong this may help with that anxiety as it’ll tell you what values belong in what boxes (if they couldn’t fill it out, they provide guidance on what to do), but I wouldn’t use a service like this otherwise. You’re paying for them to do something you’ll end up doing yourself online.
Timeline
Phase I: Court order, social security, ID/license, passport
‣ 3 months, mostly due to the passport
Phase II: Work, health, home, finances
‣ 3-4 months, as some items need to be done before others (account for processing time)
Phase III: Everything else
‣ Can be done simultaneously with Phase I and II
Start with a checklist
Make a checklist that is as comprehensive as possible given your specifics. To create a checklist, I looked for checklists online and compiled items that applied to me. I’ll share mine with you here to get you started.
The checklists you find won’t entirely apply to you – people tend to share what applies to them. It’s important to look at multiple checklists from multiple sources so you can catch all the stuff that applies to you. You’ll always have to add more stuff that other people didn’t need!
By the time this ended for me (Nov 2023 - Jun 2024) I had checklist fatigue and skipped some things. Some stuff will be more effort than it’s worth, and you’ll just wait until it gets annoying to change it. Depends on how thorough you want to be.
Max's Name Change Checklist |
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| VIP | ||
| ☐ Name change court order ☐ Social security card ☐ ID/license ☐ Passport |
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| Work/Health | Home/Finance | Everything Else |
| ☐ At work: Email address, username, display name ☐ Employer-sponsored insurance ☐ Tax forms ☐ Employee badge ☐ Profile/insurance information: Primary care, specialists, medication management, pharmacy, dentist |
☐ Banks: Credit cards, debit cards, loans ☐ Auto insurance ☐ Home insurance ☐ Investments - 401k, retirement, etc. ☐ PayPal, Venmo, etc. ☐ Monthly bills and subscriptions, cell phone, etc. ☐ Home services: Utilities, internet ☐ Car title/registration, auto loans |
☐ Email address ☐ Elections (if not done already) ☐ Vet ☐ Online profiles ☐ Streaming services ☐ Airlines, trains, travel accounts ☐ Delivery services ☐ Retail accounts (Amazon, Target, etc.) ☐ Professional licenses and certifications |