CREATIVITY
  • I'm a writer! Ok I already knew this but I didn't realize before how passionate I was about it.
  • Learning how to ride the ebb and flow of disability creativity river, where some weeks I cannot stop making things and others I have no motivation or energy to move my hands at all.
HAVING A CAT
  • It takes me about 6 months to get used to living with another living thing which is a coincidence because that's how long it took Zenny to get comfy too.
  • zenny does not like being touched without consent. she also hates it when we go off routines but it only takes her 3 days to adjust. she wants me to use both hands when petting her (bc otherwise I'm using my hands to do something else and that is Not Allowed), but I'm allowed to do stuff when she doesn't want to be pet (I'm not allowed to move since she'll be on my lap then). she requires between 6 and 12 hours of lap time per day which I cannot always accommodate (this is unreasonable, I need to get my shit together). when she's not demanding attention she likes to taunt the birds and squirrels on the porch, sleep in partial sunlight, sleep anywhere (there are blankets all over), sit on the eyeball rug and stare at me, overlook her realm from the second to top platform on the taller cat tree. she hates other people (but can warm up gradually). she wants to be an outside cat SO BAD but she will murder every bird and squirrel around here I just know it.
FACTS & LANGUAGES
  • Split the year on Duolingo between Japanese and Spanish.
  • I am super fucking hot (I did boudoir photos).
  • I CAN save money (I just have to stop spending it)
BALANCE
  • Taking off one day a month at random, not for appointments or other reasons, was one of the answers to extreme burnout. Work overall was much easier to balance and handle this year with those little forced breaks.
  • I can get anything done as long as I become addicted to it
  • If you can afford it, take the trip.
  • 3x a year is not enough camping
  • Plan low key spooky stuff so if you have no energy then you can still celebrate
INWARD LOOK
  • Whether or not I am AuDHD, every single resource I've used has been SO helpful with improving my life over the last 2-3 years
  • You can explore the hard hitting stuff by doing self therapy only if you're willing to admit both your failures and successes, and find ways to learn from them.
  • I make it about 5 consecutive months and then I forget about any habit or routine I was trying to build and for many others that were established, whatever I was doing before isn't working anymore. This has been frustrating to manage most of my life but through tracking the last few years I'm starting to see the patterns come out.
  • Tracking activities is a LIFESAVER. I don't use it to pressure myself to hit goals, but rather track when I do a set of things (e.g., I tick a box any time I'm creative in my free time whether it be writing or coloring or doodling etc, then I can look back and see how often I've been creative - instead of aspiring to check the box a certain number of times).
  • Project management tracking works for real life things too
  • I get angered very easily! it's become extra necessary for me to slow my pace and live my truth because otherwise I'll just constantly be frustrated with everything.
  • I learned that I NEEDED a treadmill if I wanted a goal of moving more often. I don't use it as much as I want to yet but without it, I sometimes might go days or weeks without a proper walk due to the pressing anxiety and agoraphobia I've been suffering this year.
  • On that note, I learned I needed to up my anti anxiety meds and I think I've finally worked out the remaining “stigma” around it. It's filling gaps and getting your brain to where it needs to be just like vitamins do for your body.
  • I am in the process of learning a lot of self acceptance and accountability. I feel that good changes are in progress, though I can't really lay out what they are yet.
  • I learned that I like using social media not just for sharing and connecting, or because it gives me an excuse to do something silly with video and post it somewhere. I also love watching the trends, how the site evolves, the evolution of memes not only on that site but hopping around other social media sites too and how the memes take on different tones etc. I love to see how people (usually kids) are bending the format and using the medium as part of their artwork, rather than just posting a picture of art or something like that.
  • Momentum is everything but it's difficult to attain during an acute timeline. Widening the scope to seasonal reflection and keeping up with stuff week to week (instead of daily) has helped! I'm learning how my pace works for me.
2020 | 2022