I mentioned in my last post that we started using AI at work and that everyone in tech is going to face a moment when they need to decide what to do next. For various reasons which I'll get into in a moment, I've decided to stay. I probably won't talk about it much on this blog since that's not what this is for, but I also can't promise I won't mention it at all.

I want to preface this by saying: I know a lot of anti-AI people and I lean that way, so I understand perfectly that people will find issues with what I'm about to say, and maybe even want to unfollow me. I won't begrudge that reaction or choice. At the end of the day I need to follow my heart and I am the kind of person to use my skills/knowledge to benefit others, so that's what I'm going to do. But also, at the end of your day, you need to follow your heart too.

I've had to do a lot of thinking about my place in this "AI-first" shift my company is making. In my professional life, I'm not an end-user. I am one of the people helping to make decisions on technologies: I don't get to choose if tools are used, but I have influence in how, when, and why. I feel a geniuine moral obligation to be in the room. I don't think I need to convince ANYONE that many people in those conversations aren't considering the costs to communities; they're considering the cost cuts and value adds.

AI policy and training are being written in real-time. There aren't any similar technologies that we could lean on and build resources based on existing knowledge. This is not like writing software documentation. If people don't shepherd this new thing with a deep understanding of the nuances (morality, biases, impacts on human labor, etc.) then those decisions are left to people who may not be thinking about them at all.

Every time I touch AI I feel a pit in my stomach but I have to do it to keep my job, and I have to do it to be part of the conversation. I believe it's vital to stay in the mix to push back, advocate for ethics, and make sure we aren't plowing down humans in the path. I want to be a positive influence in whatever way I can in what feels like a dismissive flood of change. I am asking questions and people are saying, "I never thought of it that way," and pausing to reflect before they act.

Beyond the ethics of the technology itself, I've got my disabilities to deal with. Remote work is non-negotiable and finding the healthcare, time off, and pay that keeps my support systems in place is difficult too. To leave this position to avoid non-AI tech work would basically mean starting over in a new lifestyle with different supports. I dno't have the executive function to navigate total life overhaul, so staying helps me maintain my stability too. I hate it but I also have to consider it. Many folks can survive in this world on less, but I've tried it and I like existing with bare-minimum needs met better.

Maybe it's idealistic (I'm sure it is), but I've already been in several discussions about the realities of using AI that have resulted in decisions to hire more people. I've also helped keep a DUMB AI product out of one of our platforms insisting it would confuse users even more (it would!!). I want to keep making impacts like that.

I still will NOT be using AI in my Neocities sites or creative things. I've been formulating a strict framework for AI usage in my life that will help keep the boundaries professionally relevant.