I had intense anxiety for most of July. A huge part of it is the lack of control and impacts of legislation on the people I know and myself, countless posts I've read from internet strangers reflecting on the changes, and the stress of daily news monitoring. I'm once again not going to get into that for this post, though I'm bubbling in my journals to start making zines with all these thoughts.

Unfortunately, I don't have much energy day-to-day this season so I'm operating on bare minimum levels of creativity.


Siren head and Banana Man together on the couch.

Summer without air conditioning

The smaller majority reasons for baseline irritation and unease this season, and especially in July, are due to not having air conditioning. If you follow me on Neocities you've probably seen my comments here and there about it. As a person who gets sensory overwhelm being in the heat, it's NOT GREAT to lack A/C in the summer in the oppressively humid climate of Virginia (USA). When I was a kid, it was "hot" when it was 80°F (26.6°C) and "unbearable" above 90°F (32.2°C), but as you're well aware the definitions of "hot" have changed over the last 30 years.

Now it's regularly nearly-95°F (35°C) with high humidity in the summer and "unbearable heat" is when it's over 100°F (37.7°C). All summer your glasses fog as soon as you step outside, even if you didn't have A/C on inside. You're sweating within minutes even if you're not moving much. Sitting in the shade is like being inside a still, dry microwave. You're not as humid as you were in the sun but the heat never goes away. In the meantime, in the background, there's the constant buzz of cicadas accompanying every outing that eventually you learn to drown out, but silence still feels louder this season.

(Did anyone appreciate the temperature conversions? I hope so, I don't know who reads this.)


Fading rainbow after a storm before the sunset.

On the plus side, summer thunderstorms are grand and dramatic, sometimes a hurricane might storm through (unfortunately) at the expense of homes and power lines. Downpours come out of nowhere and if you're lucky you could find yourself standing on a street that's half dry and sunny, half dark and stormy. Without wind you can literally see the cut off of the rain, it can form a straight line in the sky. While you're driving, you see it coming up, the sheet of rain and steam coming off the hot pavement as you approach the end of days. If you're at sunset, it can look like you're approaching apocalyptic purple and red skies with large billowy orange clouds.


Sunset over the Woodrow Wilson Bridge (DC area).


Morning sun through the trees.

Walking outside is a gift on nice days which come after those glorious storms. Colors are brighter, more vibrant, and every green is the lushest green you've ever seen. When I walk I look at the trees and leaves on the sidelines, each leaf a different shape and shade and texture. Wet bark is inviting and I want to walk off trail to smell it. People talk a lot about "missing fireflies" but if you take a walk at dusk in June/July in Virginia a little ways away from cars and buildings, you'll see plenty.

Some tree gifs you can take if you want! Walking through the forest with my camera pointed up.

Everyone I talk to has made commentary about how they could not stand life without A/C and they don't know how I do it, and as a result I have found out how to count my blessings. I'm rather lucky where I am, given the circumstances.

Anyway, the issues were identified and I'll be able to get my system replaced by September or October, which is not a great timeline, but now I can say I survived a whole summer without A/C.


I got a new shark plush in the Outer Banks in June and happened to notice this little scene one morning...

Zenny's birthday is July 15

Zenny turned 11! She's now officially my grandma cat. We've been together for a little over two years and I'm looking forward to taking care of her in her elderly age, even though it's gross and her poops smell bad when she's not feeling well. I did not force her to wear a little pink sparkly party hat for photos because she spent her birthday having a bad reaction to her new allergy medicine, which wasn't working anyway. At the vet's recommendation, I took her off the med immediately and then her poops cleared up very quickly!


Zenny waiting for me just outside of any room.

This was our first foray into at-home cat nursing and it was easy, quick, with no impacts other than having to clean the entire house every day because she ran around panicked any time poop started falling out of her butt.


Cozy and nestled in her emotional support trash pile and not feeling well.


Sleepy and happy after her sickness cleared up.

Eventually I started texting Zenny's friends (those who help me learn how to take care of my first cat properly) Poop Watch 2025 alerts about the progress and healing of my poor kitty baby.

It took less than 3 days to clear up.



The upstairs neighbors are noisy so we are looking up a lot in this home.

Decluttering and zines!

The Poop Watch 2025 experience made me keenly aware of how messy many of my home surfaces are, not too cluttered, but messy in the sense that every clear spot had something on it. A piece of mail I never opened. A pen I set down once and forgot about. A small box or bag I wanted to keep "just in case." (I didn't lose anything to the war; she had most accidents on the vinyl flooring and my bed once.)

This isn't that bad if you tidy up regularly but between the lack of A/C (therefore less movement), anxiety self-soothing via couch time with Reddit and Bluesky, and overheating / sleeping more often, I wasn't. To battle the increasing messiness of home, I started a 30-day declutter challenge in July, and I'm now halfway through!

I've already decluttered most of my bedroom, including my closet and art supplies, and I'm moving onto the living room next. My bedroom had a big stack of zines because I sometimes bring them in there to read in bed, but then never bring them back out after reading them.

I started organizing them into categories and have decided to read every zine I own. I've been wanting to do this for a long time, but it's very daunting. I have probably at least a thousand zines and it's ridiculous. Over the years I've gotten better at purchasing long-term keeps (I'll read & reread them) but I am a sucker for helping a zine artist so I definitely collect many of them!

While I read them, I'm cataloging the ones i'm keeping - title, author, date, genre, tags, and author website. I'll eventually build these into a little database or something online so I can share my favorites and insights I've learned from each one, and also links where to find them. I used to keep a zine review blog and I miss doing that kind of sharing because it's a great way for people to stumble upon new zine artists and then go support them! (BTW if you're a zine maker I am BEGGING you to make a website, zine makers always have cool websites.) This is going to take a while to build but look forward to a zine site maybe by the end of 2025!

While I'm reading them I'm also categorizing them broadly, before I address zine organization at home. My books are organized by genre but they ALL have spines and I can see what they are from across the room. When I'm looking for a book, it's usually by genre. When I look for zines, I'm looking for the form of expression or presentation moreso than the genre. I'm down to read anything, but what do I want to SEE?

My plan is to get down to a collection of zines that I am proud to share about, want to re-read, and that will keep inspiring me to make more things. The rest I am going to give away. These are my categories:

- Keep (unsorted)
- Giving away to friends ("this made me think of you" type of stuff - specific people I know)
- Giving away to strangers (unsorted)

Once I have the full pile (I'll have to declutter 3 rooms so don't hold your breath yet), I'll sort the unsorted into piles, and give my friends their zines.

I'm excited to go through all my keepers and decide how to sort them and where to put them. I have a shelf that is a PERFECT zine shelf, but my at-home "office" slowly took over, so I am going to need to rearrange some furniture while I do my living room decluttering.

The stranger zines will go out to strangers! I'll probably use Sendsomething for most of them (I love to send a zine or three to individuals based on keywords or mentions in their profiles), but I am thinking about making genre assortment packages with 10-15 random zines, and offering them to people who read this journal (you'd have to give your mailing address, but I would send for free).

Not like an official giveaway, more like "please help me get this out of my house and also you get zines." I do this every 10 years or so, last time I left little packages at coffee shops, but in retrospect I can see how that might be suspicious (2015 still had a strong post-9/11 culture). It did say FREE ZINES on it.

American government course

I've been taking this Harvard course that goes over the foundations of the US government and July covered the first 6 units on political culture, limited government, representative government, federalism, and civil liberties (I will finish with civil rights in August).

I learned all of this in high school so it's not that I didn't know. It's simply that it's been so long that I felt I needed a refresher with the new context/perspective I have now as an adult with experience. Like most people I've just relied on memory and the larger impressions of American culture and expectations pressed into me while I was growing up. When forming opinions of current events, I rely on 20+ year old memory. Taking this course and re-learning what I already know has been helpful to apply historical context to what's happened since I took government in high school.

I've learned many ways I was "correct" in my understanding of what it means to "be an American" (by definition of the documents we follow) and also in may ways incorrect, because while a high school course teaches you a lot of intricacies about the foundations of US government, the Harvard course (albeit a free online offering) dives deeper into the original sources and literature, and provides legal background. I was wrong in many respects regarding civil liberties, where I thought my freedoms applied in certain was that they most certainly did not.

I'll be reviewing the America Rock episodes of Schoolhouse Rock! after the course ends. I hope to relieve the heaviness of learning details of WHY everything that has happened lately has been unconstitutional and validating that we are NOT crazy in thinking so, with some catchy songs and cute animations. I am also filled with questions to read and explore more, which is a nice feeling. I love when I find something that I want to learn more about and understand better, it's very exciting.

Some other things that happened


I captured my Neocities profile at 69 followers.


Got a new drumming book to help me with my fill skillz.


Dramatic and artistic photo at lessons.


PHO FOR HEADACHES!


Monster Hunter Now x Monster Hunter Puzzles crossover and my summer fit in Monster Hunter Now!

Web wandering

August is upon us

For me, August officially begins spooky time! I decided that since it's my birthday month I can reinvent it from the "end of summer" to the "beginning of spooky season" and while everyone else is mourning the return to "real life," I am excited for ghost stories.

I guess consumption culture has overtaken early Halloween retail, and the trend is Summerween now. Instead of cool spoopy fall werewolves there are increasingly more pastel skeletons having fun in the sun... but that's fine. Maybe I'll find a good summer Frankenstein at some point, one where he's wearing a Hawaiian shirt and sipping a drink with an umbrella, the beach and ocean reflecting in his sunglasses. (Dang, so specific, perhaps I should make it.)

I know it's a stressful month for a lot of people but I will be enjoying a lot of cool storms with my windows down, and taking a week off of my routine/life for my birthday. Not going to lie, it'll still be stressful, but I am trying not to let that take away my joys in life and engage just as much as I would any other year. I've been taking my birthday week off since 2008 and even when I have been depressed or full of anxiety, I still managed to show myself a good time that week.

Anyway, this isn't about July so I'll stop myself here; I just wanted to chime in to wish you a good start if you're an extended celebrator of spooky time like I am!


My face when I realized what this Snapchat foot filter was probably used for.