I didn't have a June post because June was incredibly busy, then July was immediately too hot. I am soaked of energy and have been since the beginning of the month. The BBB and actions taken since then have drained me, I've been unable to engage in any discourse or think beyond what's right in front of me. Because my routine was out of sync I wasn't taking my meds regularly so it was hard to manage anything. I'm back on the drills.
Zenny then got sick and my world became very small. She's okay (she was having a reaction to a new med) but that little extra touch of stress and uncertainty brought me back down. I feel more grounded now but mainly because I reached my end point and I don't have any energy to be upset at the moment. Maybe a little bit because of the stability you get when you take your anti-depressants, I don't know.
Instead, I've been watching a ton of TV and many movies from the 90s (Mad Love/1995, Swing Kids/1993, Born Yesterday/1993, The Devil's Arithmetic/1999, I Know What You Did Last Summer/1997, The Face on the Milk Carton/1995). Very comforting even when they were just on in the background. Every decade of movies has a "sound" when they sink into the background. (The sound of 70s movies makes me sleepy.)
Since Zenny has been sick all over the house, that means I've had to clean up frequently, so the house has stayed pretty well straightened recently. It is exhausting to have to basically do the same thing every day, but I like that my cleaning is done in the morning and I don't have to think about it after work.
That has left time to do some decluttering in the bedroom. I've been needing to tidy up the closet, but I've also had some ideas for reorganizing that would have me in there journaling or reading more often, just having a place to do it that's soft and quiet and cozy (and with enough room for Zenny to join). It would require me to reorganize my clothes, so I decided to do a "30 day challenge" sort of approach. These usually keep me on task.
June/July brought more writing, less time on my phone and computer. Except to play Monster Hunter Wilds. There was a title update that brought back Lagiacrus, my favorite monster in the series, and an underwater combat sequence that clearly exists only too serve Fans Like Me (TM) who join during the 3rd generation and possibly had Lagiacrus as their first "really big challenge" in the game, depending on how good their veteran Monster Hunter friends were. It's nice to get back into an on/off hobby I've had since 2012. I couldn't get into Monster Hunter World.
I've been wanting to collect knowledge from the books I've been reading in a more formalized (albeit templated) way, so I started a learning journal to collect facts about US presidents, rocks and minerals, and food. I imagine I'll probably share them some day but right now it's been an intellectually enriching way to document my learning. It feels like I'm filling out worksheets in grade school with such basic questions but then there will be a fun bit sprinkled in, like how my presidents fact sheet has a section for when they overstepped their given power or caused controversy.
I both feel like there's a lot of space in my brain and like my brain is full of fluff and can't take anything else. It is both scattered and dense. Ideas are ping-ponging around then I get hungry and I forget what I was going to do. I feel like for the rest of this summer, I just want to rest. I could spend an entire day sitting still quietly in the dark if I didn't have to feed my cat.
It's been a weird mood day because I had a headache all day yesterday and then weird, bad dreams all night. I couldn't get my voice to work, no words would come out. I was on vacation with my family and we were packing to go home, but I didn't have enough bags to hold all my clothes. I brought so much stuff. I didn't even buy anything new but I couldn't get my stuff in the bags that I brought. My family was rushing me out and I couldn't say that I was trying my best, but running out of bags. Very frustrating.
Summer also comes with its own difficulties, generally, for being so hot and humid and gross, but this season I don't have A/C at home and although there are MANY fans and soon there will be a portable unit to help, it doesn't really make it cold so much as "less hot" and more dry. (That's why I had a headache all day yesterday.) I might get one soon, waiting to hear back from the company and get some details in order and then we can schedule the appointment for installation. During this experience I learned that there are limited options when you live in an apartment or condo and depending on how your home and building was built/configured, it's possible you might only have ONE option, which means that you have to take what they offer and you cannot look at what the competition allows. Your only option is to replace it with the same type of unit that has a 2 year warranty and is known to only last 8 years.
Me? I have two options. They're both expensive but at least one has a 10 year warranty.
I DID NOT GIVE APPROVAL FOR THIS. Who said it was time for me to "level up" in life? I'm not old enough to have to deal with issues like this (I'm definitely old enough).
I also learned that if you put ice packs under your armpits it cools down your body and can save you from heat stroke.
I did make this, though: Pride 2025 webzine