Here we are somewhere around mid-month and I'm ready to talk about myself, I think. Well, I took a nap earlier and now I can't sleep and my brain is on so I might as well.
It snowed this week! I'm really into the snow. I've always been really into the snow. Where I live we only get a good snowstorm once every 5 or 6 years, although that number seems to be increasing in frequency and this year it's already snowed twice with anticipation for more next week! If I believed in such things I would consider myself blessed. Here are some reasons that I like snow:
- It is quiet, it's gentle, it's sparkles, it covers everything so everything is uniform.
- Whatever you don't like about the way that your town looks, like it's too brown or it's too boring or you wish it had more personality, snow takes away all of that. You live in a new place! Just for a little while.
- Before everyone wakes up and starts clearing off their cars or leaving head to toe in layers and boots, the world is still.
- I've been caught in lots of snow storms at people's houses, on the road and then eventually some motel with my car parked at the end of the driveway because the lot is covered, in the city, at home. I've had really terrifying experiences driving in the snow trying to get home before it gets too bad but it's already gotten too bad. These days although I still have the spirit of adventure in me, I don't travel much during the winter. If it's going to snow then I want to be at home with all of my comforts.
- Just down the street there's a neighborhood park and I don't mind making the trek out there to enjoy the wet white cold.
I cracked a tooth at the beginning of February, one of those major teeth in the back that helps you tear apart and chew food, and although I have a temporary tooth before my new crown comes in, it's still difficult to bite and chew on that side of the mouth so I've not been doing that. Instead I'm overcompensating by almost exclusively chewing on the right side of my mouth.
It turns out food is slightly less satisfying this way! The experience of eating is cut in half, I can't fully taste things, it's weird when I floss, and I'm not fulfilled. This is showing me how much the experience of eating is part of that fulfillment. It's not just that food is delicious, it's also that it's fun to eat, but if you're shoving all of your food over to one side of your mouth it's not as fun. It's more like a chore, you have to fill your body despite the state of your teeth.
I finally got my winter mail out. I usually try to get this out before the beginning of the year at the start of winter so it comes in with holiday cards and wishes everyone a good time but this season I ended up doing it in stages: International cards, then a few weeks later people in different states, than a few weeks later Trump got elected and I ran out of energy so all my local friends didn't get their cards until February.
This year I sent yeti cards, two different designs. One of them has a line on the inside that says the yeti is only visible to people who believe. Many of them came with a haunted winter zine which you can download and print if you're interested.
When I was younger I sent to a full address book, somewhere around 85 cards for each holiday mailing that I did. I didn't mail for all holidays, just the ones I liked the most, but it was quite an effort. Now I only send about 25 cards. Each year I eliminate another handful of people who don't ever acknowledge or reach out to me during that year.
To me the point of mail is not to get a reply, it's to send something nice to someone I care about... but if we never talk, sorry, price of stamps keeps going up! I also like to save a few for strangers. I get on Send Something and search profiles for keywords related to my card. This time I looked for "cryptids" and I found a few people to send to. The only thing better than sending mail to people you know is sending mail to people you know will appreciate it.
This month I've been playing the Monster Hunter Wilds beta partially to create my character in advance, but mostly to continually adjust the settings and figure out how to make it work on my computer. I know that the beta is old code and there have been a lot of improvements since then but I still like to be able to see the games that I'm playing. I'll be honest though, I have no idea what I'm doing updating game settings and if I have to fight origami I will do that instead.
So I chipped my tooth to the root and that's why I need a crown, but I got a crown 4 years ago and apparently my insurance only covers it once every 5 years. It's frustrating paying out of pocket after working so hard and budgeting so well for 6 months and finally saving up and then having to spend that all right away. It seems to happen that way a lot, I guess that's what it means being in an independent adult. Your house falls apart, your car, your body, your teeth, your cat, whatever.
The difference between this time and previous emergencies is that I had the money and although I had to struggle for a week and a half, I made it out okay. Once the next paycheck came I was fine. I would like to make a little bit more money for what I do and my level of responsibility at work, but in the meantime I've been budgeting very well and I'm super proud of myself. Normally when these things happen, I'm out of luck and frustrated for several weeks until I can pay off the issue. (Right now I'm paying off several issues, but managing it.)
I start a 100 days challenge on February 18th and I don't know what this will look like while I do that. I'm going to write every day and some of those days may end up on this blog. This is part of why my February summary is coming early, but I also wonder if it makes sense for my process to write every 15-20 days rather than waiting until the end of a month.
Something I've been thinking about which I'll throw out for you to think about too: How do you know that you have successfully started a new habit? How long until it's part of your routine? I know that neurodivergent people often have difficulty with routines and habits so I am giving myself grace but I wonder how long until it feels like I have made writing and reading a habit again.
I don't subscribe to the whole 21 days habit thing, that's not real. That's a moneymaker. I've been trying to reintegrate these activities into my life for over a year and I still feel like I haven't done it yet. It doesn't feel the same way it did when I was younger, I don't have the same drive. Does that mean I haven't developed the habit yet? Or does that mean things are different now that I'm older and my attentions are split into many different activities? 🤔
